How to heal deep emotional wounds? The question itself is very powerful. And the answers are even more so. Journey with us as we explore how to heal deep emotional wounds and the five methods of healing that should be a part of everyone’s process.
The process of emotional healing can be very deep, very lonely and very complicated. These are not things they teach us in school. There is no book that we can flip open to find the answers in alphabetical order. We typically have to dive in on our own without being sure in what direction we are heading.
In this blog post I share methods I have personally used in my own healing and what I guide my clients towards in my work as a somatic psychotherapist. So read on to find out how ancestral reconnection, and connection with your body and breath, among other things, can be instrumental to your healing process.
So keep reading below on how to heal deep emotional wounds and the five methods for deep healing.
5 Methods For Deep Emotional Healing
1. Your connection with your Breath is a priority to heal deeply
As you navigate the process, and learn how to heal deep emotional wounds, one of the first things you have access to is your breath. This may seem obvious and overly simple but honestly it is the most powerful and the most readily available to you.
You have heard the phrase: JUST BREATHE! But this is easier said than done.
Many humans live in a highly activated and traumatized state and don’t even realize it. Of course with wars or other catastrophic events we have come to recognize that trauma is present. But many of us live with the symptoms of emotional trauma every single day. It is just our normal way of existing in the world. This state of being doesn’t seem abnormal to our brain and body.
Because of this your nervous system is completely out of whack and you are not breathing correctly. You are experiencing your breath in the upper third of your chest. Your breath is not reaching your belly which is also known as diaphragmatic breathing.
When you breathe this way you are breathing shallowly rather than deeply into your diaphragm. You are not getting enough oxygen to your brain and you are not calming down your nervous system.
This video explains all of the health benefits of diaphragmatic breathing. The one we will be most focused on is the impact on your emotional and mental health.
By not taking those deep inhalations and exhalations – those slow deep breaths aka belly breaths aka diaphragmatic breathing, you are depriving yourself of an easy, available and effective way to regulate your emotions, heal and release trauma.
Your breath is the most powerful and immediate tool you have to bring healing to your body. You should be using it consciously and with intention every single day. You are already breathing, so now you just have to do it the correct way so that you can bring emotional healing to your mind and body.
As you build up your intentional connection with your breath, through regular practice, you will notice your internal capacity for stress expands. The ability to process your emotions increases. You will be able to breathe before you react.
When your internal feeling of tension are triggered instead of going into an anxious response or a trauma response, you will will automatically breathe which instantly calms your nervous system. This will bring healing to your mind and body.
2. Your connection with your body is essential
As you learn how to heal your deep emotional wounds you will discover that your connection with your body is instrumental to this process. Often we have complex and complicated relationships with our bodies. This is especially true if you are in the body of a black woman.
The bodies of black women are often either ridiculed or hypersexualized. It is not as easy for us to drop into our bodies. It is often very difficult for us to develop a loving and compassionate relationship with our bodies. But it absolutely can be done.
The first thing you have to do as you restore your connection with your body is to slow down. Become aware of what is happening inside of you. And as mentioned above: breathe.
Slow down…breathe…notice what is happening…
This slowing down and connecting with your breath allows you to turn inward. You begin to notice parts of yourself that you had previously forgotten about. This awareness and intention will begin to let your body know that it is safe for you to have a relationship with it again.
Establishing a new connection with your body does not happen overnight and it is not meant to. Your body is a powerful source of information and as you tap into it be patient with yourself.
There is no rush.
There is no goal you have to achieve.
This is all about taking care of yourself and developing a new relationship with yourself on your path to healing.
3. ANCESTRAL RECONNECTION is Vital
Our relationship with our ancestors is not something that is often talked about here in the United States. But it is one of the richest and deepest paths to your healing.
What is ancestral reconnection?
A great book for beginners is: Ancestor Reverence & Ritual: A Beginner’s Guidebook by Rev. Mignon Grayson.
Ancestral reconnection is awakening to the connection you have to your ancestors in the spirit realm. This is not anything weird or demonic. This is your natural birthright of spiritual connection. Many other cultures outside of the United States engage in these practices. They are seen as totally normal and a part of their way of life.
Many who hear of this practice often interpret it as engaging with the recently deceased. This is only a small part of the process and not what is always done.
You have ancestors going back thousands of years whose genetic memory lives inside of you to this very day. Without their life, living and experiences you would not be here today.
It can be immensely healing for us to connect with ancestors that predate our immediate family of origin. Often it was the family of origin that created the wound in the first place.
Despite the painful experiences you may have had with your immediate family, there is a whole group of spiritual beings connected to you by blood. They are waiting to offer you support and love as you navigate life in this dimension.
This can be deeply healing. Many of the sources of pain you have experienced are rooted in feelings of rejection, abandonment, etc from your family of origin. Ancestral reconnection can repair all of that by showing you that you were never alone. They have always been there waiting to guide you, love you and encourage you.
For people who have been adopted and/or placed in foster care: Ancestral reconnection is for you too. It is for everyone. Despite anything that happened in your family of origin, including being separated from them, your ancestors still love you and are available to you.
And don’t worry about knowing peoples names, etc. If you have that information good and if you don’t that’s fine as well. It will not impact your connection.
When you are working with other dimensions it’s not about a lot of the linear things humans focus on, i.e., names, dates of birth, locations, relationship status, etc.
It is all about energy.
And your ancestors recognize that you are a part of them based on your energy. So you don’t have to worry about what you don’t have. You have your self and that is enough to connect to the spirit world and your people.
You don’t have to be of any particular faith or religion to practice ancestral reconnection. It literally is for everyone because everyone has ancestors like we all have our breath.
You don’t need to deny yourself of anything that will help you heal the wounds of your heart and you absolutely shouldn’t!
{Related Post: Signs of Emotional Healing | 7 Important Signs You Need To Know For Your Healing}
4. shamanic healing is a path to heal deep emotional wounds
For many folks they have no idea what shamanism or shamanic healing is. You can read about it: here and here to get a brief overview of the topic.
To put it very briefly, shamanic healing is based in indigenous healing practices connected to spirit, earth and nature. This has been practiced globally and cross-culturally since the beginning of time.
Wherever human were, on whatever continent, they practiced their own forms of healing. Broadly this is often called shamanism. But it can have various names depending on the region of the world it is from.
So like ancestral reconnection, it is something humans have always practiced globally but something that many of us have little awareness of and that’s too bad because it can be deeply healing.
Getting away from these practices has only hurt us and left too many of us feeling lost, isolated and alone. People today have a huge emotional need for connection than this current configuration of society cannot meet. Many people are in deep deep pain and they are looking for healing.
That is why you are reading this right now.
You are looking for answers.
You are looking to understand yourself better.
Shamanic healing can be a source of deep healing. It helps you to journey to the deepest parts of your unhealed self. Parts that you lost connection to due to trauma, violence or emotional pain. Or any rupture that left its mark on your mind, body or soul.
You are reconnected with these parts of yourself bringing you back to wholeness. Cords, also known as emotional or energetic ties, can be cut during shamanic healing. This can free you up energetically to feel lighter and more emotionally in balance.
This is work is all done with the guidance of a shaman. A shaman is a person who has been initiated and trained in these ways of healing. Training to be a shaman takes years. Years. It is not something someone can decide to do because they feel like it.
So be careful of anyone who has not done the work to be trained in this way. Those who take up this work take it very very seriously. So when you go looking for someone to guide and support you, it’s best to get a recommendation from someone you trust.
The Ancestral Voices YouTube Channel is a wonderful resource learn from people who practice this type of work among other things.
5. THERAPY as a bridge to heal deep emotional wounds
So, why is therapy listed last on this list when I am a therapist?
Because I wanted to show you that your healing is not dependent on any person. There are many ways that you can work with yourself to bring healing to your mind and body.
Our society needs deep deep healing. Human beings are currently in a great deal of emotional and mental pain. It was important to show that there are many tools that you can use before you see a therapist or even while seeing one.
Therapy can be very important to the healing process. But it is not the beginning and the end of your healing. You might see a therapist once a week for about one hour.
But what are you doing with yourself the other 167 hours?
You are with yourself way longer than you will ever be with a therapist. You need to make the emotional investment in yourself from that perspective.
With all of that out of the way, therapy can be deeply impactful and can act as a bridge in your ability to connect with yourself. It can act as a container to hold and process deeply held thoughts, feelings and emotions that you may not be able to express to others without judgment or feeling misunderstood.
For many people, especially in the black community and for black women, therapy can be the first time that they feel truly seen, heard and witnessed after centuries of being erased and diminished. It can be a deeply powerful bridge to connect a person back to their humanity.
It is important you find someone that you can work well with not only from a mental perspective but from an emotional and energetic one. Someone who is patient, kind, personable and that you can get along with as you build the bubble of safety that the therapeutic relationship provides.
For the types of healing I have recommended above, working with a somatic therapist might be a good fit. We are often already familiar with a lot of what I have mentioned here. But any good therapist should be willing to walk with you however you chose to navigate your journey.